Letting go to let Growth
One of the hardest things we will ever learn as human beings is letting go. Letting go is a difficult concept, for regardless of what you’re letting go of, it means you have to learn to embrace the new and unfamiliar, and that is a generally uncomfortable experience, even in the best of circumstances. We are all creatures of habit, whether our habits are good or bad. We all find a comfortable groove in which to carve out our existence and we stagnate, ignorantly believing it is bliss. Every now and again, we feel the yearnings that change is a’coming, but we ignore it, we cling to what we know.
At times, we are forced to let go too soon, and at times we let go too late. It all comes down to timing and growth. Do we want to move forward, do we want to regress or do we want to stay where we are? None of these options are a bad one, but when placed into the context of our own particular circumstances, we are constantly, daily, faced with this dilemma. For letting go does not necessarily mean moving on, it merely means growing within our own souls.
I have a hard time letting go of anything, because I am no fan of failure. I make excuses for those who fail me, and present a rosy truth even to the best of friends to mask my own ineptitude at succeeding in everything. If something is irreparably broken, I am the last to admit defeat. If someone needs to leave my life, I am the last to let go. If there is even a glimmer of hope that an ending can be happy, I will shift mountains rather than admit that letting go is all I can do.
But what if letting go is actually the success I need to achieve? What if letting go is the one thing which will bring me happiness – a concept I seem eternally weary of, relentlessly accepting that dismal despair and negative notions are all my heart will harbour. I want to believe that if everything I think I knew made my life unbearable, I would change. Yet with change (which I’m not opposed to) comes that little bugger need to let go and with that, my feelings of inadequacy and failure are brought strong into play.
I want to let go – I mean, really let go – of all that is bringing me pain, but it is so hard. How do I start? Because even the worst of feelings envelops you like a blanket of safety and in time you are so comfortable that it’s like a second skin. The niggling in the back of my mind has already started.
What if this is the biggest mistake I’ll ever make? What if letting go is a mistake? That cannot be, my heart reasons with my stubborn mind bent on not admitting any inclination that could be construed as defeat. I know that in my circumstances letting go will bring the best kind of relief and the worst kind of pain, but in the end, it will mean giving the good a chance to be nurtured, and that which I’m letting go of will not be missed so much once I have opened myself up to hope and (dare I say it) happiness.
I cannot continue to take the same action expecting different results. It is the action, not the outcome, which must be altered.