Be nice to nice guys
I want to tell you something. It’s not like a secret or anything, but still a lesson worth listening to…
Nice guys should NOT finish last.
In honour of the Valentine’s Day that just was, which some of us fondly refer to as a Monday, I will not like the rest of my co-singles spew forth hatred at those couply-couply people who have met someone nice enough to want to treat them right.
I am single and I’m not too sure how quick I’d be to give up my status, but I’d like to think that if a nice enough guy comes along, I’d be willing to give him a shot at making me happy – or my version of happy in any event. I’ve realised lately that I’ve become a bit inept at the whole dating malarkey.
I never know what to do when I actually like a guy, and invariably end up screwing things up. It’s not intentional and I never mean to mess it up, but when you’re a bit of a blundering idiot that talks too much, your chances of faltering are guaranteed to be doubled. So perhaps this is me sending out a karma-boomarang in the hope that it will return a little bit of my lost luck.
I want to commend the good guys out there – the ones that make the effort, the ones that call, the ones that treat a girl like she is a special person, favours and fantasies aside. You see, for all the pain and heartache I have felt, I can be sure of one thing in my life – I have been loved in a variety of earth shattering ways that has made my heart swell and overflow and feel all sorts of wonderful.
The reason why I can say this without hating on those who ultimately inflicted so much of the pain that has left me damaged and distant, is because the hurt just means it was real. If I walked away from a relationship without having my heart just a bit less whole, then what was the point? To love is risky, your heart is bound to be pounded on along the way, and you (if you have to be honest now) will hand out a few blows along the way yourself.
So ladies, be a bit kinder on yourself. It’s not your fault if a guy turns out to not treat you right. It is, however, your fault if you continue to let him do it (but lets not go there right now). Be a bit kinder on men too. It’s not the next guy’s fault that you have a history riddled with not-so-nice guys. Give everyone a fair chance, the beauty of it is that if you give a guy a chance, he may just surprise you and turn out the be one of the good ones. It’s like they say – sometimes you have to kiss a lot of the bad boys so that when you kiss a nice boy, you’ll be sure of the difference.
And guys, I’m here to tell you the secret of life itself. Us girls want the nice guy. We may not all be ready for it and we have our own fears about it – it’s scary to meet someone with who you want to share your life. The upside of it is that if you treat us right, we’ll realise that it’s what’s been missing all along. I know this seems really unrealistic to a handful of you out there, because I do know guys that are constantly being thrashed about by these ungrateful woman who don’t appreciate the warmth and worth a nice guy can bring into their lives.
To those guys, I say take heart, don’t give up just yet. Eventually all little girls grow up and forgo the fantasy of knights in shining armour that go on adventures and slay dragons. Once they do, who you are, that nice guy that you keep on trying to hide because you’re just as afraid to be hurt again, will be worth a thousand dragonheads on a platter. Because what good is a man who goes off on faraway adventures while I’m stuck at home alone drinking tea and waiting for him to grow up?