Extra/Ordinary

 

How did we end up here? I remember waking up one morning a long time ago liking you, knowing exactly what I want…and then it’s all a kind of a blur from there. How did I get here? How did I go from being saved to feeling like I need to be rescued?

 

I know it’s complicated, but I just make it worse. You warn me about getting hurt, yet I’m hurting all the time anyway, for reasons I don’t always understand. You were right… I’m that glue that holds it all together and you’d never know the extent of my own damaged destruction. You think the song is about you, but it’s not, I can’t save you, I can’t be the wall between you and the rest of the world out there that hurts you and breaks you down. The funny thing though, is right about when I think you’re just another guy, you go and say something so profoundly accurate that it surprises me into remembering why I liked you in the first place.

 

It’s not about you liking me though, it never was. It’s more about me finding my way back to a person that I’ve forgotten to be in a long time. Finding the feelings that I am capable of, what I am worth, is much harder to do than finding a guy who likes me back.

 

You shocked and surprised me to my core. I forgot that being who I am could feel this good. When I thought you were inexplicably cruel, you were kind. When I thought who I was did not matter, you proved to me that I have worth. This is not some girly ‘I like you’ thing, we can both agree that we’ve moved well past that. It’s more of a human being ‘you were kind’ thing.

 

So as I sit here doubting about whether to say this at all, my friendship makes me feel duty bound to ponder and profess this. You are one of the nice guys. It may not mean much to you right now and it may even make you exceptionally uncomfortable…

 

But you must know, must understand, that where you think that you are ordinary, there is at least one person in this world who knows that you are extraordinary. Who thinks you’re the kind of guy that a girl would be privileged to share even a moment with. Perhaps it should not be said, but I’m saying it anyway, because there was a moment, and it made me feel hope in a hopeless world, which is pretty exceptional in itself.

 

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