1 May 2011: Hey you, yes you, shuttup!

Can it really be May already? I chat to Mein Schatz, make tea, talk to my daddy, talk to my mum, talk to The Best Friend about her plans for cocktails later, tweet randoms, talk to Boy that is Friend about doing nothing later. Have a late morning nap.

I finally kick Mein Schatz out at noon due to a desperate need to rejoin society (read doing absolutely nothing with Boy that is Friend) and my need to eat. FOOD. Mein Schatz and I haggle over ‘the time line’ for seeing him again. Deal struck. I say goodbye. FOOD.

Boy that is Friend has learnt a new song on his guitar. It’s amazing and really suits his voice, but complimenting him is harder than a rock. We gobble up some Mac and Cheese before a bit of a drink. He explains more guitar stuff. I don’t really understand what he’s saying apart from that it sounds really rockstar cool, so there‘s a lot of ‘oh ok‘ and ‘that‘s cool‘ going around.

The Best Friend finishes work at last and we head to Cubana for some cocktails, PK shots (or as Boy that is Friend says: a sitting fuck slap shot – copyright) and great conversation about love, lust, dolphins and donkeys. But not before Boy that is Friend shows off his advanced driving skills to The Best Friend sitting in the back seat. She kuked herself. Classic. It’s the biggest flaw in this whole having a guy that is really just a mate. His driving. It’s well… Jizz in my Pant. Cocktails had and dinner gobbled, we decide to move on to The Baron where we meet a girl with a voice that can and WILL shatter glass.

I’ve realised that apart from stupidity, which is not something I can deal with at all, people with annoying voices are the once thing in this world that will drive me to murder. I cannot deal with it, nor should I have to. I refuse to believe that if your voice sounds like a hyena ate a squeeky toy and then inhaled some helium, you don’t know this. I suggest you see someone about it. Or shut the fuck up. It is the most annoying trait in a human being and I blame parents. How do you idly stand by as your child becomes a pollutant to this earth. Yes, noise pollution is a thing. Wikipedia and some scientist blokes say so. For the love of everything that is sacred in this world, have your kid fixed before it becomes an unstoppable force. Like my fist. Against her head. If I was violently inclined. Next time, it may not be someone with the self restraint and the friends-buying-shots-so-I-calm-down type of attitude like me standing next to her. Good riddance, I’d say.

Hunger rules that it is home time, and Andiccio’s rounds off a great night every time. I now realise my day revolved around eating times.

Invade Boy that is Friend’s guest room again. Sleep. Like dead sleep.