I have a brain. Please may I use it.
I have been sitting here for the past week trying to figure out what I want to tell you and therefore tell myself. I think that through writing it down my insight into my own life becomes more astute. However, I have got nothing. I have no profoundness left in me for now. Maybe it is a combination of having been very ill lately, then being surprised by a long overdue visit from a long time friend whom I love so dearly that I cannot even describe our friendship to you (thus spending my days actually happy), having to plan a move, in between all this working and even sometimes having a life!
Maybe it’s that.
But then again no.
The reason I have been so profoundly uninspired lately is that, as one of my my previous posts started to explore, I am tired of issues. I hear people complain all day about their issues. I have to deal with said people’s issues. Yes, issues that escalate into full blow disputes are what pay my rent, but jeez. My soul is suffocating under the depth of despair of people today. I don’t know what made us all such deeply miserable creatures, but I for one do not buy it anymore. If you have issues, here’s what I suggest:
BE A GROWN UP, SORT IT OUT AND LET IT GO.
I know I have to listen to my own advice too. I have to start letting go of that which does not enhance my life or bring me any form of fulfilment. Like I have been sitting here contemplating how to explain what I’m feeling, when really all I want to do right now is NOT feel.
I want to sit on my bed with said amazing friend listening to kick ass music, drinking a fine wine and talking about the things that really fascinate me in this world. The things that I never talk about because other people are too busy rehashing stories of issues that they don’t talk about anything other than that. When is the last time you had an actual intellectual or even factually interesting conversation with someone? Talked about things that interest you and not just about yourself? I, for example, have this mind full of knowledge and theories about the law and I love learning new things. So why, when I love knowledge so much do I have to constantly sit and listen to people’s issues and why, at the same time, do I feel compelled to share my issues with them?
I’m sure I will have feelings to muse about again soon and I will return to the normal emotionally intense inner workings of my heart that I have written about over the past year, but right now. Oh. My. God. I cannot be profound. I cannot offer you any advice other than get over it. Let go. Leave it be. Move on. It’s over now. Well done for getting through it. New chapter. Open to a new page. Start writing. And for Pete’s sake, make it intellectually stimulating. Balanced. Interesting. Let me have something to look forward to.
Although the whimsical flight of fantasy left in me must confess that I do sense the inspiration required for an in vino veritas, so do keep your eyes open. My mind is definitely on sensory overload, just not of the emotional kind.