Last night I sat talking to the one person who gets not only a bit of me, but all of me. The person who I have unequivocally shown my true Jekyll and Hydeness to. As you know, I have recently discovered that I am so over issues. Both other peoples and my own. I’m at that point and age in my life where this is it. This is the moment when I make things happen or coast along doing the same thing in the same monotonous manner for the rest of my life.
I know what I want. I’ve always known. So why all the BS? Why all the up and down? Because I, my dear readers, am two people. There is the awesome me that knows what she wants, isn’t afraid to ask for it and knows she can do anything she sets her mind to… And then there is the not-awesome me that shirks aways from the greatness I have inside, the girl who is paralysed by thoughts of not being enough, insecure and riddled with doubt.
In fact, it is the not-awesome me that has issues, and so I have taken issue with her. I have time and again gone back and forth between these two personalities and as always, the dark drowns out the light in me.
But now, I am standing at the cusp of real life, no longer a child or a teenager or a student or an apprentice, but a woman, a fully fledged grown up that has to start sorting her shit out. And as I sat in front of the only mirror that really matters – a true friend – I saw not who I can be, but who I ought to be…
And that awesome woman inside of me is now looking life in the eye and boldly saying: Challenge Accepted.