You, in my eye


I see you, I appreciate you, I have learnt to understand your hate and your darkness, I have experienced your intense personality and the mask of happiness you hide it under. I have felt your passionate abandon of desire and need that effortlessly emanates from who you are. It is intoxicating.

I’ve tried my best to creep in under your skin and make you see yourself, make you understand there are few people out there like you, who have the guts and glory to embrace the dark we both know is engraved into our souls, without making it be negative. You are a wonder, you are a miracle, you are unique. No-one else can ever be the you I see in front of me now. No-one stands on the cusp of curiosity, no-one pushes the boundaries of my insanity quite like you do. You force me to focus on my fears, yet douse the flames of my self-destruction with fun. You make me remember who I am, yet make me forget how bad it is to feel like me.

I am dumbfounded by the depth of your deception. You think I don’t see it, but in the quiet moments of contemplation you so carefully hide, I see your heart flourish and your character build. I wish I could explain what you are to me, but any explanation would be redundant. Any truth will be met with lies. You are in some ways so honest, yet in reality you have taken to hiding. I get that.

Now if only I could see into you and know what you truly feel. About you. About me. About what we used to have. About what we have now.

I’m trying to not admit it, but the simple truth is that I see your freedom and I am envious. I may not be able to admit the actual truth for insecure fear of falling, but I will admit that jealous of your endless opportunities, I am…

The rest I wish I could say, but I never will. For make a difference, it will not…