That’s me inside your head
It has been quite some time since I have freely and, admittedly, easily put pen to paper, particularly in the sanctity of my own home – alone. As I sit here, I am still not quite capable of doing so just yet. Sanity is hard to come by in this life. Moreso when it feels like the only outlet we justifiably have is to say what we want to say out loud. It must be said to the world or it is not said at all. We are trapped by our own need to be understood by the world at large, rather than focussing on understanding ourselves.
Gone are the days of quiet reflection and contemplation, of introspection in silence and to the exclusion of others. Gone are the days of figuring something out as a fait accompli before discussing it with everyone. I have been a fool. I have been a fool to think that you’ll understand anything I mean until I have definitely figured it out for myself (which I have not). Our decisions are no longer confined to our own minds, but are influenced by the hundreds of thousands (quite literally, if you are on social media) of opinions we hear, mostly unsolicited.
What if you just sat with it for a while? What if you gave your mind, your heart, your authentic self some time to digest, to consider, to render your own opinion before taking to providing a kneejerk reaction to every single thing you think, or feel, or experience? What about a little modesty? What about a little free thinking of your own before inviting a world which knows nothing about your inner workings to weigh in on some of the most personal decisions regarding your life?
Fuck ’em. They don’t get to have a say unless you say so.